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It was a windy and cloudy afternoon when I finished my accounting class and walked to the bus stop. Along the way, I passed a group of male students (some of them are my classmates) who smoked outside the campus area (it is forbidden to smoke inside).
Some of them had tattoo on their arms (which I could see clearly), a few had pierced, and since some of them are my classmates, I knew that they often skipped the class or acted disruptively if they attend. I was not even interested to look twice at them, because in my opinion, they are all… brats.
Who am I, that I dare to say I am not going to hang out with those smoker guys?
Perumpamaan tentang orang Farisi dengan pemungut cukai(Lukas 18:9-14)18:9 Dan kepada beberapa orang yang menganggap dirinya benar dan memandang rendah semua orang lain, Yesus mengatakan perumpamaan ini:18:10 "Ada dua orang pergi ke Bait Allah untuk berdoa; yang seorang adalah Farisi dan yang lain pemungut cukai.18:11 Orang Farisi itu berdiri dan berdoa dalam hatinya begini: Ya Allah, aku mengucap syukur kepada-Mu, karena aku tidak sama seperti semua orang lain, bukan perampok, bukan orang lalim, bukan pezinah dan bukan juga seperti pemungut cukai ini;18:12 aku berpuasa dua kali seminggu, aku memberikan sepersepuluh dari segala penghasilanku.18:13 Tetapi pemungut cukai itu berdiri jauh-jauh, bahkan ia tidak berani menengadah ke langit, melainkan ia memukul diri dan berkata: Ya Allah, kasihanilah aku orang berdosa ini.18:14 Aku berkata kepadamu: Orang ini pulang ke rumahnya sebagai orang yang dibenarkan Allah dan orang lain itu tidak. Sebab barangsiapa meninggikan diri, ia akan direndahkan dan barangsiapa merendahkan diri, ia akan ditinggikan."
It was a windy and cloudy afternoon when I finished my accounting class and walked to the bus stop. Along the way, I passed a group of male students (some of them are my classmates) who smoked outside the campus area (it is forbidden to smoke inside).
Some of them had tattoo on their arms (which I could see clearly), a few had pierced, and since some of them are my classmates, I knew that they often skipped the class or acted disruptively if they attend. I was not even interested to look twice at them, because in my opinion, they are all… brats.
I
talked to God within my mind, “Dear Lord, I am not going to hang out with those
kind of people. I am a child of God, I am not supposed to make friends with
those brats.”
But,
suddenly the passages that I wrote at the beginning of this post slapped me!
And I was like… geez! I’m a Pharisee inside! :(
I
was totally ashamed… and it’s getting worse when I remembered what kind of
people that my Jesus, my God, used to hang-out with! Tax collectors… harlots…
adulterers... sinners… :(
Who am I, that I dare to say I am not going to hang out with those smoker guys?
Who
am I, that I dare to feel I am more sacred than them?
Who
am I, that I dare to judge that they were all brats, when my Savior love them just
as much as He loves me, and therefore died on the cross for them? :((
I
was exactly the same as them! My life before I surrender it to God was even much
worse than just smoking and skipping class. I was undoubtedly a sinner, who is saved
ONLY by God’s grace. No part of this amazing grace was my effort, the whole of it
was the gift of God!
God,
I am really sorry. There are still lots of horrible things inside me that needs
to be transformed. I need Your love to renew me, day by day. I need Your
guidance to love others just the way You love them. I need Your reminder, so I
will never forget who was I before I knew You…
so that I will not judge others.
Let
it be more of You in my life, Lord, and less of me.
Amen
:)
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